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Thread: Chuck Norris Facts and Jokes

  1. #21
    The rings of Saturn were created when Chuck Norris round house kicked the north and souh poles..... at the same time!

    Chuck Norris knows what a double rainbow means.

    Chuck Norris can guess 20 passwords at the same time.

    Chuck Norris has a belt in Karate in a color only he can see.

    Chuck Norris can slam dunk without jumping.

  2. #22
    When Chuck Norris plays soccer, the goalkeeper is the ball.

    Chuck Norris once ran a low fever. This is commonly known as Global Warming

    2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.

    When Chuck Norris goes on a picnic, the ants bring him food.

    Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.

    Chuck Norris won't be Mr. Rogers neighbor.

    If you came across Chuck Norris yesterday..you shouldn't be alive today!

  3. #23
    When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised.

    Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone.

    Chuck Norris once took a stress test, the treadmill had a heart attack

    When Chuck watches, the paint dries instantly.

    Chuck Norris summoned Excalibur and slayed Godzilla in one strike...he didn't even use Excalibur.

    Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.

    You can't Chuck Norris, but Norris can Chuck you.

  4. #24
    Chuck Norris put the Muscle in muscle cars!

    Chuck Norris went the whole 10 yards.

    In baseball, Chuck Norris always hits a homerun because the ball tries to get as far away from him as possible.

    When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball....the balls dodge him.

    One time Chuck Norris shot a gun... his fist got there first.

  5. #25
    Someone once said that Superman could never be turned into a zombie. Chuck Norris decided to test that claim and the result was Jason Vorhees

    Chuck Norris IS ... that's all there is to it.

    Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.

    There's no need to look behind you when your in Texas. Chuck Norris is everywhere.

    Chuck Norris is capable of killing a man with his thumb - he just prefers kicking people to death instead.

    Chuck Norris eats metal and craps chains.

    Mustard gas is Chuck Norris' air freshener.

  6. #26
    Chuck Norris uses an air bag...in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.

    In a kind donation, Chuck Norris has donated his organs to science.....every year since 1978

    Chuck Norris can make plastic flowers wilt.

    Chuck Norris doesn't drink tea. He swallows the bags whole then takes a hot shower.

    Chuck Norris doesn't put sugar cubes in his coffee, he puts moth balls.

  7. #27
    Chuck Norris can finish reading the book called Facebook.

    Chuck Norris goes hunting... on Facebook.

    Chuck Norris' email address is only rumoured to be 'roundhouse@pain.chuck.norris'

    Chuck Norris has a facebook account... WITHOUT TIMELINE.

    Chuck Norris Taught Dumbledore how to use magic... without a wand.

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